About Big Fat University
A Quality Education Not Unlike None Other...
At BFU, we do good education, awesomely. Thanks to a generous grant from the Big Fat Institute, and a number of local and federal "campaign contributions," our faculty of world-renowned experts is ready and willing to complete its community service by tutoring you in the emerging fields of Design, Music and Filmmaking. And coming soon, TV/VCR Repair.
A Spoonful of Sugar Helps The... Something, Something, Something.
Research has shown that nobody likes to learn. Seriously. Nobody. That's why at BFU we trick our students into thinking that they're not actually learning, but rather laughing. BFU's patented misdirection curriculum, developed at the legendary Big Fat Institute, utilizes the universally accepted triumvirate of comedy techniques - funny accents, fart sounds, and the heartbreaking misfortune of others - to subconsciously implant real learning nodules into the minds of our students. Suddenly, they know how to do things they never could before, such as adjust the color balance of a photo, write a movie script, and create napalm from orange juice concentrate and gasoline. You should see it. It totally blows their minds.
Student/Teacher Interaction, Now Nearly Lawsuit-Free.
At any university, the students' relationship with each other and their professors is almost as important as getting laid. But not at BFU. Here, it's almost equally important.
But ironically, the main drawback of these interactions has been getting laid... by a teacher (i.e. Student needs a good grade, Teacher needs a good massage, etc.). So with the help of the resident sociologists at Big Fat Institute, we've taken the traditional dynamics of the student/teacher relationship - BDSM, DP and ATM - and refocused all that sweaty carnal energy into a strictly platonic online interaction environment. And nothing makes our teachers happier than knowing each day will begin with the prospect of invigorating young minds, and will end with the prospect of dying alone in an apartment full of tweed jackets and cats.
Everything You'd Expect From A Real, Existent University.
Our endowments from the BFU Deceased Alumni Association and the Big Fat Institute Literacy Initiative have allowed us to build a university environment that creates a unique balance between education and entertainment. But apparently the "infrastructure" check got lost in the mail. So while we may not have a "student center" or "buildings" or a "campus" according to the stodgy Ivy League-elitist definition, we do have a clock tower that looks pretty collegiate. From a distance.
We Are Contractually Obligated To Talk About Big Fat Institute Here.
Without our friends at Big Fat Institute, BFU would only be a fake Community College. Instead of a University. It was their prescient look-forwardativeness that originally conceived the concept of Mockutorial Edutainment. And they let us know about it every freaking day. If you'd like more information about how awesome they think they are, please go to their site at BigFatInstitute.org